I'm thinking about him again, and a part of me is relieved that I am finally to the point of moving on from him. Watching Spotless Mind gets me thinking about the dreams that I have with him in it. And every time he's there, we're getting along. Although I am very reserved and reluctant to see him, much less speak with him, he's there - talking to me, as if nothing is wrong.
One dream I had in particular, I remembered that it's possible for one to have control of things within their dreams. I took an initiative and I tried talking to him. All I could ask him were questions about what to do with him, what to tell him, what I could do to set things right again between us. "You know how I am," he says. "You know how I'm feeling, already. All you can do is try to reach out to me. You know I'd like that."
However my most recent dream of him consisted of his disdain and avoidance of me. I guess I don't blame him, now. After all, I chose the wrong words and the wrong way of doing things when I last spoke to him. I think that was the inevitable last straw.
I know I sound crazy, this whole entry sounds crazy. But I guess I get so sentimental, I reach so far deep down that it goes beyond even dreams, perhaps even spiritually. It begs the question, why do we dream? Do they really have any value, or meaning?
Does he ever dream of me?
What an interesting journal update.
Comments (1)
HI. :>