I'm thinking about him again, and a part of me is relieved that I am finally to the point of moving on from him. Watching Spotless Mind gets me thinking about the dreams that I have with him in it. And every time he's there, we're getting along. Although I am very reserved and reluctant to see him, much less speak with him, he's there - talking to me, as if nothing is wrong.

One dream I had in particular, I remembered that it's possible for one to have control of things within their dreams. I took an initiative and I tried talking to him. All I could ask him were questions about what to do with him, what to tell him, what I could do to set things right again between us. "You know how I am," he says. "You know how I'm feeling, already. All you can do is try to reach out to me. You know I'd like that."

However my most recent dream of him consisted of his disdain and avoidance of me. I guess I don't blame him, now. After all, I chose the wrong words and the wrong way of doing things when I last spoke to him. I think that was the inevitable last straw.

I know I sound crazy, this whole entry sounds crazy. But I guess I get so sentimental, I reach so far deep down that it goes beyond even dreams, perhaps even spiritually. It begs the question, why do we dream? Do they really have any value, or meaning?

Does he ever dream of me?

What an interesting journal update.

I hear the clock, it's 6am
I feel so far away from where I've been
Got my eggs, and my pancakes too
Got my maple syrup, everything but you
I break the yolks and make a smiley face
I kinda like it in my brand new place
I wipe the spots off of the mirror
Don't leave the keys in the door
Never put wet towels on the floor anymore 'cause

Dreams last so long, even after you're gone
I know, that you love me and soon you will see
You were meant for me, and I was meant for you

Called my momma, she was out for a walk
Consoled a cup of coffee but it didn't wanna talk
Picked up a paper, it was more bad news
More hearts being broken or people being used
Put on my coat in the pouring rain
Saw a movie it just wasn't the same
'Cause it was happy and I was sad
It made me miss you, oh so bad

Go about my business, I'm doing fine
Besides, what would I say if I had you on the line
Same old story, not much to say
Hearts are broken every day

I brush my teeth and put the cap back on
I know you hate it when I leave the light on
I pick up a book up, and then turn the sheets down
Take a deep breath and a good look around
Put on my pj's and hop into bed
I'm half alive but I feel mostly dead
I try and tell myself it'll be all right
I just shouldn't think anymore tonight

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